It's normal to feel "rebellious" after a divorce or major breakup, but doing anything permanent to your body is something that you may regret shortly after you do it! Like anywhere in life, we can never change anyone else's behavior. The only thing we can do is change ourselves.
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When your expectations are too high, especially if your ex has a track record of contention and hostility, what usually happens is that we crash down low when our expectations aren't met. The only thing you can do to help is to mindfully focus on becoming the reasonable person — and hopefully he will notice and improve his behavior.
This person was an "ex" for a reason.
Looking up someone you had dated in the past is like reaching out for an old sweater that doesn't fit well, but is super comfy. Having comfort sex can be unfair to both your ex and yourself.
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When you orgasm, you release increased estrogen, testosterone and oxytocin — which may cloud your vision and make you feel more attached than you should to someone who isn't good for you. Not going to therapy is usually a mistake after divorce because it's traumatic for almost everyone. If you didn't like your last therapist, find a new one. There are thousands out there — find one who you have chemistry with. You need to work on yourself and heal the wounds before you can face the world of dating in a healthy way again.
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If you need to vent, call your mom or your pals. Don't put it on Facebook or Instagram for the whole world to see.
It will do you no good at all — in fact, probably just the opposite. Reach out to your friends and let them know you still want to be part of their dinners, parties and kids' celebrations.
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Shoot for one little thing each day that can show progress in a particular area of your life. If you have children, remember to keep your relationship civil with your ex. You have a responsibility to your children to do everything in your power to keep their relationship with both parents warm, loving and civil, if possible. For better or worse, their lives were changed without their consent. Don't talk negatively about your ex.
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Even if your relationship was rocky with your former partner, avoid speaking negatively about them around your kids—that could end up straining your relationship with your children, or worse, damage their emotional health. Understand that the divorce will affect your friendships, too.
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Friends will take sides and this will hurt, but those who are true will be there to listen and will be there forever. Focus on finding good caretakers for your kids. You will derive peace of mind when this is in place. Make your newfound free time count. Find the silver lining in everything. For instance, it may take time to get accustomed to sleeping along every night, but that also means that you'll be able to come and go as you please on your own schedule.
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Break a sweat. Exercise raises serotonin in your brain and helps fight depression—so practice self-care and sign up for your favorite workout of choice. Don't neglect your other relationships.
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