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Manual El arte del amor (Edu.com) (Spanish Edition)

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Exlude Out of Stock. Home Amber-Allen Publishing. List Grid. Nature Of Personal Reality. Jane Roberts. He is alienated from himself, from his fellow men and from nature. His main aim is a profitable exchange of his skills, knowledge, and of himself, his "personality package" with others who are equally intent on a fair and profitable exchange. Life has no goal except the one to move, no principle except the one of fair exchange, no satisfaction except the one to consume.

View all 20 comments. Jan 16, Carlo rated it really liked it. One of my favorite books. I've read it three times now, and i'll probably read it several more times in the future. I really appreciate what a "down to earth" way of dealing with his subject matter that Fromm has. He recognizes that no book can make you a more loving person, but he does recognize that by calling our attention to the myriad ways that we misunderstand, and deceive ourselves about love, we can begin to approach a better understanding of what it might take to become better lovers.

H One of my favorite books. He implicates everything from our philosophical assumptions to the way we work in a capitalist society to the way we endlessly pursue idle amusement over the development of the kind of character that energizes a person to act more lovingly in the world. Another book I think I could benefit from reading every other year. View 2 comments. Jun 14, Alli rated it really liked it. Have you ever held an idea so closely to the sides of your skull, you could never find the words or phrases to articulate it until someone stopped by and presented you with exactly what you had been searching for?

Erich Fromm did this for me in the context of mature and fulfilling relationships. In the words of a good friend "more people should realized that 'serious' philosophers devote think about such things" - 'such things' being how interpersonal relationships are the bedrock of most human Have you ever held an idea so closely to the sides of your skull, you could never find the words or phrases to articulate it until someone stopped by and presented you with exactly what you had been searching for?

In the words of a good friend "more people should realized that 'serious' philosophers devote think about such things" - 'such things' being how interpersonal relationships are the bedrock of most human beings' sanity, and the fact that most of us have the incredible ability to create very unhealthy relationships.

ISBN 13: 9789688535493

Fromm tells us that first, being an happy, full person on your own, full of self-love, discipline, and productivity is necessary. Then, wishing for all the same in another human being, creates a bridge of emotion. Respect, awareness, and rationality then form the basis of "practicing" love. Above all, Fromm tells us that loving someone is a decision, and as such, we have full control over our relationships with others and the satisfaction that we derive from them. As a critique, I will say this: Fromm very obviously had little understanding or concern with homosexuality, or any other sexual identity not in line with heterosexual, adult couples.

This ignorance on his part is apparent at a point in his writing, but I feel also colors his opinions on fatherhood and the relationship between parents and children. After all, if one believes that a parent's role is directly related to their gender to the extent that it restricts and forms their emotional attachments, then that person could not understand healthy and fulfilled couples of the same gender or no gender who successfully fill all the necessary roles of parenthood. View 1 comment. Jul 25, Ebony rated it really liked it Shelves: relationships. I underestimated the power of this rather unsophisticated looking book.

He writes so eloquently about what love is and what is it not that I felt enlightened with every sentence. Actually, I was imagining myself as bell hooks reading it for the first time in preparation to write All About Love. Basically Fromm argues that love is an art that requires practice and it requires that we get outside of ourselves enough to want to get into the deeper parts of another person. He writes about the human passion for connectedness and our angst with the constant knowledge of our separation from the world.

Love is a form of re union that puts us back in connection with God and earth and other beings. Sometimes we try to recreate that union with sex but sex without love does not solve the problem in earnest. He argues that our concept of a father God is rather infantile because we only aim in Christianity in particular to gain the approval of God instead of aiming to be like God—the embodiment of love. He admits to not believing in God so his God love sections are biased, but thought-provoking nonetheless.

He also makes the argument that God had to become love. I like the idea of God growing into love and me trying to be like God—it suggests that there is hope. Good stuff. All day. Jan 12, Steph rated it it was amazing. More than just an average self-help book on spoiler: you must love yourself and develop the capacity to love before you can love others , Fromm takes a socio-political-historical-psychoanalytic approach to the topic of Love.

There are times when it does get a bit theoretical which is a PLUS for me because I am a nerd , but the book is very much accessible. A friend recently commented that if more people read this book, there would be a lot more happy, functional relationships. True dat. This bo More than just an average self-help book on spoiler: you must love yourself and develop the capacity to love before you can love others , Fromm takes a socio-political-historical-psychoanalytic approach to the topic of Love.

This book came at a very critical time in my personal development, so that may be why it was so profound. I think that anyone can take something away from it I have a friend who reads this book once a year! It may not affect you the same way, but at the very least, it will make you think about Love in a more complex, critical manner.

Love as a way of living, rather than an object to be procured or given away. And of course keep in mind the time period that this was written 50s , so there are some outdated references. If you are a very traditional conservative white middle-class cisgender person, who is familiar with the bible but still loves Freud: you have found your guide. If you are any other category of human, this book is probably not for you. The constant denial of non-binary genders, the labelling of love between gay people as a mistake and a failure, the endless sexism in describing the roles of men and women, I could go on and on I can see a little spark in the text every now and then, some hopeful words that can be seen as wise and guiding.

But if the wrapping of these messages is just one big pile of discrimination not very lovable.. If you have this book on your shelves and want to make it useful somehow: for a good workout, do some push ups every time you encounter the word 'penetration'. View all 3 comments. Jan 28, Abby rated it really liked it. Everyone should read this book. It's for people who are in or trying to be in a relationship, but it's really also for any person who wants to be a better world citizen, in terms of how we relate to everyone significant other, family, friends, strangers, etc.

That is why s Everyone should read this book. Essentially the ability to love and have compassion for others is a state of being that requires characteristics that are made use of throughout life, not only in relationships. The beginning of the book gets a little cynical about society, but the last two or three chapters more than make up for it.

I don't have the book with me, otherwise, I would write down some of my favorite quotations, but at the very least, everyone should read through the last two chapters. Jul 26, Thomas rated it liked it Shelves: nonfiction , psychology. Often in contemporary society we misconstrue love as a cure-all for all of our problems: instead of learning the art of love, which requires great depth and practice, we resort to insta-love, to using others to complete ourselves, and to proj 3.

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Often in contemporary society we misconstrue love as a cure-all for all of our problems: instead of learning the art of love, which requires great depth and practice, we resort to insta-love, to using others to complete ourselves, and to projecting our own insecurities onto the people around us. In his book The Art of Loving , Fromm deconstructs the shallow image of love so many people possess, and he delves into what constitutes true love: care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.

Another quote that stood out to me and will remain one of my favorites: "Love is possible only if two persons communicate with each other from the center of their existence, hence if each one of them experiences himself from the center of his existence. Only in this 'central experience' is human reality, only here is aliveness, only here is the basis for love. Love, experienced thus, is a constant challenge; it is not a resting place, but a moving, growing, working together; even whether there is harmony or conflict, joy or sadness, is secondary to the fundamental fact that two people experience themselves from the essence of their existence, that they are one with each other by being one with themselves, rather than by fleeing from themselves.

There is only one proof for the presence of love: the depth of the relationship, and the aliveness and strength in each person concerned; this is the fruit by which love is recognized. I understand that The Art of Loving came out in , which may explain its arguments that homosexuality suffers from the pain of never-resolved separateness, or that we must equal love of God with love of man. Still, these parts of the book clouded the rest of its conviction and radiance, which saddened me because Fromm combined theories from history, philosophy, religion, and more.

Overall, recommended to those interested in love or psychology. While my rating might look a little low, I believe that reading this book could change many people's lives for the better. Jun 16, Jareed rated it liked it Shelves: romance-on-love , reviewed , academic-historical. Also posted on my blog: i'mbookedindefinitely There's a lot of grain of truth in this theorizing and objectification of love that Erich Fromm successfully wrote. Let me quote with liberality such instances more so for the inherent beauty and magnificence of such statements.

One page xix "It book wants to convince the reader that all his attempts at love are bound to fail; unless he tries most actively develop his total personality so as to achieve a productive orientation.

If love were only a feeling, there would be no promise to base the promise to love each other forever. A feeling may comes as it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgement and decision? Because one does not see that love is an activity, a power of the soul, one believes that all that is necessary to find is the right object - and that everything goes by itself afterward.

This attitude can be compared to a man who wants to paint but who, instead of learning the art, claims that he has just to wait for the right object and that he will paint beautifully when he finds it. If I truly love one person I love all persons, I love the world, I love life. If I can say to someone 'I love you,' I must be able to say, 'I love in you everybody, I love through you the world, I love in you also myself.

His arguments are well thought out and psychologically anchored. The conclusions are convincingly rationalized. My propensity to disagree however trickles in regarding certain points in his arguments. Fromm situates fatherly love as love that is conditional in contrast to motherly love as unconditional. This condition, Fromm writes, depends on the child's capacity to please, satisfy and fulfill every fatherly expectation, requirement and demand. Now before anything else, the strength of this forthcoming argument is not anchored on personal disposition for I am neither a father nor a husband yet nor is it on a personal father-son relationship but on the patent criticism on Freud's study —that much of adult psychological development is founded on the child's experience because it perpetuates that development is not progress and change but accumulation of the same static component.

Now for you Fathers out there, is Fatherly love truly conditional? Does it really depend upon any fulfillment of a condition? Isn't it a bit partial, bordering sexism for fatherly love to be labeled as conditional? This is pivotal since Fromm forwards the argument that conditional fatherly love is the significant half component for the development of a mature being capable of truly loving. Cannot fatherly love be demanding, hard-driving, expectant and directing while at the same time be unconditional?

Because in contrast to what Fromm writes, that the failure to transcend the conditional fatherly love results to one extreme end of the stick, the incomplete and incapable-of-loving person, perhaps such incapability have resulted from such conditional fatherly love in a very fundamental manner. Fromm's proposition of this kind of a fatherly love however carries something more portentous because as much as reality has put it, the general rule is non-fulfillment of such 'condition' and the fulfillment being the exception which necessarily forwards the conclusion that most individuals are incapable of loving.

The social milieu having been published at at the time of the writing of this book is gleamed from the very words and arguments Fromm has employed. Take for example Fromm's argument on homosexuality, capitalism, and on criticism on Freud. What surprised me however is Fromm's repeated employment of biblical passages and resources. In hindsight this should have come with no surprise at all as no better book talks categorically and objectively about love than the Bible, and this is true whether one reads it as a religious keystone or as a plain literary work.

And I have always believed this to be true and found that acclaimed romantic statement 'you complete me! Fromm hits that mark masterfully. Considering it all, Art of Loving is one enlightening work, something I'd never fail to recommend. View all 5 comments. Sep 04, Tanvika rated it it was amazing Shelves: living-now. We have innumerable romantic movies,songs, literature,dances centred on it. Humans are on the look out for ' the one's generally judging on the basis of material prosperity, physical attractiveness Young people are expected to get married. On the other side,there is endless violence,poverty,loneliness,despair, alienation,depression in the world.

Maka - Cositas del amor lyrics + English translation

So, do we actual know what love is? Fromm disagrees with the popular notions about love. He considers love as an art : to be understood and practiced sincerely. People cultivate an attitude of loving universally, not craving 'to be loved'. In particular, the writer points out to our notions of love being developed by the western capitalistic culture. The nature of work is standardized routine tasks. The individual is also expected to be a standardized consumer. The individual become alienated,insecure,anxious and becomes a machine. The person seeks escapes of various kinds: more work,passive amusments.

Such an individual cant love. This section did horrify and disturb me. Finally the solutions that he offers are quite sketchy as love is an experience. It is quite similar to mindfulness in buddhism. Fromm vision is lofty and idealistic. It isn't impractical. As Camus says ' the opposite of idealist is very often a man without love's. Dec 20, Sarah rated it it was amazing Recommended to Sarah by: Jackie. Shelves: This book is absolutely unbelievable. It's no surprise it's considered one of the most important books of the s. Erich Fromm's ideas about what "loving" means are mind-blowing, and bring to the forefront every problem I've witnessed in myself, and in others, in relationships.

It's not a stupid self-help guide on how to love people or something cheesy like that. It's an honest look at how people's perceptions of love and loving have changed. And it's sensational. Mar 22, Emad Attili rated it really liked it Shelves: reads. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn't a feeling, it is a practice. It must be destiny. The whole book was short and pleasant and reading it was truly interesting. I get new ideas and perspectives from each book I read for him.

Oct 05, Farhan Khalid rated it it was amazing Shelves: philosophy , love , psychology , european. They have the experience of overcoming aloneness If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. Avoiding own problems, and being concerned with the defects of "loved" person 2. Projection of one's own problem on the children Love necessarily means the absence of conflict Love is constant challenge. It is not a resting place but a moving, growing, working together Life has no goal except the one to move, no principle except the one of fair exchange, no satisfaction except the one to consume The belief in God has been transformed into a psychological device to make one better fitted for the competitive struggle The practice of an art requires discipline, concentration, patience and supreme concern Without discipline, life becomes shattered, chaotic, and lacks in concentration One does not begin to learn an art directly, but indirectly Concentration is to learn to be alone with oneself without doing anything Concentration means to be able to be alone with oneself 1.

Try to see white screen 2. Follow one's breathing 3. Jun 27, Hoda Marmar rated it it was amazing Shelves: 12genres , bookoholics , own , favorites. The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm was first published in It addresses love as an art to practice and master, rather than as a fleeting emotional mystery or a magical lightning strike. He argues that love is holistic and should not be seen as separate from man's nature. Love inherently connects all aspects of man, and all forms of love brotherly, erotic, parent-child, God, motherly, fatherly, and self loves are the manifestation of one's way of living loving or non-loving , his tolerance, The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm was first published in Love inherently connects all aspects of man, and all forms of love brotherly, erotic, parent-child, God, motherly, fatherly, and self loves are the manifestation of one's way of living loving or non-loving , his tolerance, and his ability to grow.

The transforming man seeks mature love and faces his alienation in a capitalist society and his anxiety of being separated from others through discipline, concentration, patience, and practice in all aspects of his life. He learns to cope with being truly alone, and seeks only meaningful bonds and behaviors. Love is a way of living, and not just an emotion or an instinct. Erich Fromm's writing style makes it easy for the non-academic reader to follow through. His ideas are well organized into chapters, and each chapter into subtitles, and within each subtitle, many paragraphs are interlinked and flow smoothly and logically.

He gives an explanation or an example when needed.


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He revisits a concept to further develop it when it helps his argument. He shows pros and cons, and opposing schools of thought before making his own statement such as Aritotle's logic versus Taoist paradoxical logic, Sullivan versus Freud on defining love, and Eastern versus Western spirituality.

When he talks of neurotic and projection-al loves, he gives extensive examples of love self-concept gone wrong and unhealthy fixation to a parent figure in the course of its development. In short, the organization and fluidity of the information is so neat and easy to follow.

Kudos to Erich! It is highly quotable and quite insightful about how love develops psychologically and socially in its many forms. Reading it leads to a better understanding of why we do what we do, why we have certain beliefs and confusions about love and ourselves, and what might hinder our personal growth and our ability to love. Fromm argues that only mature love, stemming from care and responsibility for one another's growth among other characteristics , only that genuine love can help us face our mortality and the injustice of life and death.

I highly recommend this book to those who are willing to introspect and dig deeper into the depths of their psyche and face their insecurities and misconceptions about love, because I firmly believe that nobody fully knows how to love oneself, others, and the world. This book is a good building block; it taught me plenty. Mar 24, Philipp rated it really liked it Shelves: non-fiction , on-living , psychoanalysis. The first time I read this book I was doing my undergrad - about ten years ago, given to me by a girlfriend at that time.

I should've read this closer. It's not infatuation with a person even thought his definition encompasses this , it's an attitude, the way a person relates to the world. It's a far cry from the weird American cover which makes it look like a self-help book, it The first time I read this book I was doing my undergrad - about ten years ago, given to me by a girlfriend at that time.

It's a far cry from the weird American cover which makes it look like a self-help book, it's not really that - it's interpretative psychoanalysis in same vein as Freud, very little data, lots of art a similar and also great book is The Denial of Death. Some things I would like to stuff into a time machine to younger me 'Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one's capacity to love.

Hence the problem to them is how to be loved, how to be lovable. As it was popular back then it's closer to philosophy than to psychology - he often uses Freud's teachings about love and sexuality as starting points for his own philosophy on love. I wouldn't say it's required, but it's definitely recommended reading - some points fall too short and are underdiscussed, I'm hoping The Sane Society will be more in-depth. By bad company I do not refer only to people who are vicious and destructive; one should avoid their company because their orbit is poisonous and depressing.

I mean also the company of zombies, of people whose soul is dead, although their body is alive; of people whose thoughts and conversation are trivial; who chatter instead of talk, and who assert cliche opinions instead of thinking. Dec 26, Cleo rated it it was amazing Shelves: philosophy , psychology. I would give it 6 stars if I could! Oct 19, Hans rated it it was amazing Shelves: favorites , spiritual-development.

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I would love to have been one Erich Fromm's close friends because we would have gotten along smashingly. Luckily for me he chose to be an author so I could at least get to know him through his immortal writings. This was yet another fantastic and well written book. My favorite concept that really struck me was his explanation of how American Culture though materially wealthy leaves most of us with strong feeling of alienation from others. Fromm explains that this alienation is, in part, due to o I would love to have been one Erich Fromm's close friends because we would have gotten along smashingly.

Fromm explains that this alienation is, in part, due to our obsession with wanting to be loved rather than developing the capacity to love.

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We work hard on our appearance, our charm, our sex appeal to try and 'win' love. When our focus instead should be on learning how to grow our hearts so we can love ourselves and others. He believes this can only be achieved like the mastery of any art, through self-discipline, focus, and concentrated effort.

Enduring Love is active, and our concept of "falling in love" is passive. Here are my favorite excerpts "Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence, then any society which excludes, relatively, the development of love, must in the long run perish of its own contradiction with the basic necessities of human nature" "Human values have become determined by economic values. What is good for machines must be good for man --so goes the logic. Modern man thinks he loses something-time--when he does not do things quickly; yet he does not know what to do with the time he gains --except kill it" "With regard to to the the art of loving, this means that anyone who aspire to become a master in this art must begin by practicing discipline, concentration and patience throughout every phase of his life" "Irrational faith is the acceptance of something as true only because an authority or the majority say so, rational faith is rooted in an independent conviction based upon one's own productive observing and thinking, in spite of the majority's opinion" "The root of the word education is e-ducere, literally, to lead forth, or to bring out something which is potentially present" "Love is possible only if two persons communicate with each other from the center of their existence, hence if each one of them experiences himself from the center of his existence.

Only in this 'central experience" is human reality, only here is aliveness, only here is the basis for love. Love, experienced thus is a constant challenge; it is not a resting place, but a moving, growing, working together I shall never be good at anything if I do only if "I am in the mood" may be a nice or amusing hobby, but I shall never become a master in that art Without such discipline, however, life becomes shattered, chaotic, and lacks in concentration".

But under less favorable conditions and these are naturally more frequent-his love life, if not his social life, will be a serious disappointment; conflicts, and frequently intense anxiety and depression arise when this type of personality is left alone" "This idolatrous love is often described as the true, great love; but while it is meant to portray the intensity and depth of love, it only demonstrates the hunger and despair of the idolator". Th only way in which the world can be grasped ultimately lies, not in thought, but in the act, in the experience of oneness. Thus paradoxical logic leads to the conclusion that the love of God is neither the knowledge of God in thought, nor the thought of one's love of God, but the act of experiencing the oneness with God" "One thing is certain: the nature of his love for God corresponds to the nature of his love for man, and furthermore, the real quality of his love for God and man often is unconscious--covered up and rationalized by a more mature thought of what his love is.

Capital commans labor; amassed things, that which is dead, are of superior value to labor, to human powers, to that which is alive" "Modern capitalism needs men who cooperate smoothly and in large numbers; who want to consume more and more; and whose tastes are standardized and can be easily influenced and anticipated" "Human relations are essentially those of alienated automatons, each basing his security on staying close to the herd, and not being different in thought, feeling or action.

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While everybody tries to be as close as possible to the rest, everyody remains utterly alone, pervaded by the deep sense of insecurity, anxiety and guilt which always results when huamn separateness cannot be overcome" "Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's integrity, one's individuality"; a power which breaks through the walls which separate man from his fellow men, which unites him with others; love makes him overcome the sense of isolation and separateness, yet it permits him to be himself, to retain his integrity" "Almost half of marriage end in divorce, in part because of the temptation to "trade-up" as if each individual has a fixed worth, some calculable integration of youth, beauty, cleverness, status and especially wealth.

Often as not these rearrangements result in marriages that feel empty" "even love as a haven from aloneness is bound to fail" "Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one's capacity to love" "'Attractive' usually means a nice package of qualities that are popular and sought after on the personality market". Man, in an attempt to overcome his sense of separateness, uses conformity to seek union' Apr 26, Nyamka Ganni added it Shelves: psychology , non-fiction , spirituality , compassion-project.

Then it requires knowledge and effort. Or is love a pleasant sensation, which to experience is a matter of chance, something one "falls into" if one is lucky? This little book is based on the former premise, while undoubtedly the majority of people today believe in the latter. Not that people think that love is not important. They are starved for it; they watch endless numbers of films about happy and unhappy love stories, they listen to hundreds of trashy songs about love-yet h "IS LOVE an art?

They are starved for it; they watch endless numbers of films about happy and unhappy love stories, they listen to hundreds of trashy songs about love-yet hardly anyone thinks that there is anything that needs to be learned about love. Shelves: psychology. South bookstore , I made an exception for this one because I had heard that Fromm was some kind of socialist--and, heck, I was agonizing a lot about one kind of troublous love in those days. I'm glad to have made the exception because this was useful introduction to the complexity of language, in this case as regards the use of the English word "love".

Furthermore, it introduced me to the idea that other languages, Greek in this case, can offer a greater variety of nuance than our own. Having received from Dr. Fromm a greater precision in language allowed a greater precision of thinking that helped me survive adolescence. I read this edition on the patio of the Malmstadt's summer house overlooking Lake Michigan while they were out of town. They had the more comfortable patio furniture, the best view and, besides, I could get away from my demanding little brother, then nine. I couldn't finish it.

I just couldn't. Not only does it focus on the psyche through an exclusively heteronormative lens which made me uncomfortable, yeah, but wasn't an outright deal breaker then , but it also drew too many conclusions based on the outdated archetype of a cartoonishly puffed-up man enslaved by the faculties of reasoning and logic and other things dickweeds of history have attached inalienably to machismo but never the capacity for love! What few beautiful and telling ideas pertaining to erotic, familial, and self-love expounded upon in Fromm's self-help oh god, self-HELP? On the one hand, because of the psychological lexicon of the author, who invents words where such words are not needed.

Secondly, after dedicating over 20 pages to "study" the love of God, we learn that Fromm does not consider himself a theist. In other words, he is studying God's love as though it were a love without an object, a spurious psychological phenomenon. And of course, he does not mention God's love for us, because for him the concept does not make sense. It's funny, sometimes this book gives the impression that Fromm who comes from a Jewish family knows quite thoroughly the Old Testament the Jewish Bible but has never read the New. He says, for instance, that the love of God compared to the love of helpless children for their father is a primitive form of God's love, eliminated by further development.

He does not seem to know that Christ said: "if you don't become like children, you won't enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Aug 07, mis fit rated it really liked it Shelves: love , psychology , social-psychology. His opinions often seem convincing at first glance, but to what extent do they really hold up? Fromm argues that popular, romantic conceptions of love are often very flawed. He critiques the widespread notion that love is an emotion to be felt or an end state to arrive at. For Fromm, love is a creative capacity. It is behavior that is characterized by care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.

It takes away the agency we all have to be loving and obscures what loving behavior is comprised of. It makes love into a thing that one either possesses or lacks, an emotion that must be acquired by way of popularity-- by having the right personality, clothes, and lifestyle that is attractive to an equally popular mate. He was, of course, a sociologist and that background allowed him to pay special attention to the influence of social structure and economic relations in individual psychology.

The larger forces that we tend to think of as structural do in fact shape how we see ourselves, others, and how we go about loving one another. Fromm also argues that one must be an independent, whole person in order to love well, to love in a healthy way.

He slogs through a bunch of Freudian psychology, making some good points and some not so good points, in a section on love between parent and child. Considering the ideal types of motherly and fatherly love for child, we can see how a child often starts off completely connected, undifferentiated from the mother figure.

These motherly and fatherly types of love are limiting when they recur in romantic relationships between adults. Only independent adults can master the skills of care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. This is important and radical-- only through independence can we come into contact with each other and bridge that often painful gap between ourselves and others, addressing a very human longing for connection.

Overall, love is a very social phenomenon. It is embedded in the way society is structured, how people are raised, and what options are available for fulfilling the need for human connection.