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Manual Grief: What Happens After The Funeral Is Over

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Sometimes, those who are grieving like to do mundane tasks because it takes their mind off their loss.

Grieving and Coping with Bereavement

You can even plan it now, decades in advance, so your loved ones don't have to worry about it later. If you think a phone call is too intrusive, send a text message or an email. If the survivor is a widow or widower and all alone, now is the time to step up and show how much you value your friendship. Once family members have left to go back to their own lives, loneliness can hit a survivor like a brick.

Invite the surviving partner to dinner on Saturday nights just as you had invited them as a couple before. If the survivor is elderly and depended on the now-deceased spouse for transportation, you can offer to run errands or take the person to doctor appointments, the grocery store and for other necessities. Often, survivors will not want to impose on family or friends.

If a widow makes wonderful bread, ask for a homemade loaf in return. On the other hand, if the survivor has young children, offer to babysit. Giving him or her a much-needed break will be greatly appreciated. This depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. When a loss fully settles in your soul, and you realize that your loved one is not coming back, feelings of deep sadness depression are normal.

To not experience depression after a loved one dies would be very unusual.


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Depression is a necessary step toward healing. Eventually you come to terms with your bereavement as you move into the acceptance stage of grief. At this point, the loss has become part of your story and your history.

The Early Days after Loss

It does not consume your life in the same way it did to begin with. With acceptance comes increased peace. As you move through this stage, you will find yourself once more interested in and able to enjoy some of the things that you formerly liked to do. You may develop new interests and relationships. You have learned to live with your loss in a way that is constructive and healing.

Every person is different, and so is their grief. Each person will follow a different path toward healing. Although there is no right or wrong amount of time to complete the grieving process, many experts agree that it is not unusual to take at least a year to move through the grieving process.

When Someone You Love Dies,There Is No Such Thing as Moving On - Kelley Lynn - TEDxAdelphiUniversity

The duration of the mourning process can also be influenced by your relationship to the deceased, the amount of support you receive, and other factors. This may be especially true if the other loss is relatively recent, or has never been fully processed in and of itself. If, after some time has passed, you find your grief is still persistent and disruptive to the point where it impacts your daily functions, please seek professional counseling.

The Grieving Process. The grieving process takes time, and grief can be more intense at some times than others.

How to deal with grief (and find support) after the funeral

As time goes on, reminders of the person who has died can intensify feelings of grief. At other times, it might feel as if grief is in the background of your normal activities, and not on your mind all the time. As you do things you enjoy and spend time with people you feel good around, you can help yourself feel better. Grief has its own pace.

The Grieving Process

Every situation is different. How much grief you feel or how long it lasts isn't a measure of how important the person was to you. If you're grieving, it can help to express your feelings and get support, take care of yourself, and find meaning in the experience. Take a moment to notice how you've been feeling and reacting.

Try to put it into words. Write about what you're feeling and the ways you're reacting to grief. Notice how it feels to think about and write about your experience. Think of someone you can share your feelings with, someone who will listen and understand. Find time to talk to that person about what you're going through and how the loss is affecting you. Notice how you feel after sharing and talking. We can learn a lot from the people in our lives. Even when you don't feel like talking, it can help just to be with others who also loved the person who died.

When family and friends get together, it helps people feel less isolated in the first days and weeks of their grief.


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Being with others helps you, and your presence — and words — can support them, too.