Lastly, consummate love includes all three components. His work states that three factors constitute love: attachment, caring, and intimacy. Following developments in electrical theories such as Coulomb's law , which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as "opposites attract".
Over the last century, research on the nature of human mating has generally found this not to be true when it comes to character and personality—people tend to like people similar to themselves. However, in a few unusual and specific domains, such as immune systems , it seems that humans prefer others who are unlike themselves e. Some Western authorities disaggregate into two main components, the altruistic and the narcissistic. This view is represented in the works of Scott Peck , whose work in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. Peck maintains that love is a combination of the "concern for the spiritual growth of another," and simple narcissism.
Psychologist Erich Fromm maintained in his book The Art of Loving that love is not merely a feeling but is also actions, and that in fact, the "feeling" of love is superficial in comparison to one's commitment to love via a series of loving actions over time. Evolutionary psychology has attempted to provide various reasons for love as a survival tool. Humans are dependent on parental help for a large portion of their lifespans compared to other mammals. Love has therefore been seen as a mechanism to promote parental support of children for this extended time period.
Furthermore, researchers as early as Charles Darwin himself identified unique features of human love compared to other mammals and credit love as a major factor for creating social support systems that enabled the development and expansion of the human species. This would favor monogamous relationships over polygamy. Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, similar to hunger or thirst.
Certainly love is influenced by hormones such as oxytocin , neurotrophins such as NGF , and pheromones , and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love. The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love: sexual attraction and attachment.
Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to its mother. The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of companionate love and passionate love.
Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal shortness of breath, rapid heart rate ; companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal. Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word "love" is used. At the same time, the Ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo having the same meaning as phileo. The term s'agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a "pure," ideal type of love, rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros.
However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth.
Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros.
Some translations list it as "love of the body". Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship. It can also mean "love of the mind. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and his guest, who could previously have been strangers.
The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was expected to repay only with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology —in particular, Homer 's Iliad and Odyssey. The Latin language has several different verbs corresponding to the English word "love. The Romans used it both in an affectionate sense as well as in a romantic or sexual sense.
From this verb come amans —a lover, amator, "professional lover," often with the accessory notion of lechery—and amica , "girlfriend" in the English sense, often being applied euphemistically to a prostitute. The corresponding noun is amor the significance of this term for the Romans is well illustrated in the fact, that the name of the City, Rome —in Latin: Roma —can be viewed as an anagram for amor , which was used as the secret name of the City in wide circles in ancient times ,  which is also used in the plural form to indicate love affairs or sexual adventures.
This same root also produces amicus —"friend"—and amicitia , "friendship" often based to mutual advantage, and corresponding sometimes more closely to "indebtedness" or "influence". Cicero wrote a treatise called On Friendship de Amicitia , which discusses the notion at some length. Ovid wrote a guide to dating called Ars Amatoria The Art of Love , which addresses, in depth, everything from extramarital affairs to overprotective parents. Diligere often has the notion "to be affectionate for," "to esteem," and rarely if ever is used for romantic love.
This word would be appropriate to describe the friendship of two men. The corresponding noun diligentia , however, has the meaning of "diligence" or "carefulness," and has little semantic overlap with the verb. Observare is a synonym for diligere ; despite the cognate with English, this verb and its corresponding noun, observantia , often denote "esteem" or "affection. As it arises from a conflation with a Greek word, there is no corresponding verb.
Two philosophical underpinnings of love exist in the Chinese tradition, one from Confucianism which emphasized actions and duty while the other came from Mohism which championed a universal love. In Confucianism, one displays benevolent love by performing actions such as filial piety from children, kindness from parents, loyalty to the king and so forth.
In this, he argued directly against Confucians who believed that it was natural and correct for people to care about different people in different degrees. Mozi, by contrast, believed people in principle should care for all people equally. Mohism stressed that rather than adopting different attitudes towards different people, love should be unconditional and offered to everyone without regard to reciprocation; not just to friends, family and other Confucian relations.
In Buddhism, Ai was seen as capable of being either selfish or selfless, the latter being a key element towards enlightenment. Instead of frequently saying "I love you" as in some Western societies, the Chinese are more likely to express feelings of affection in a more casual way.
The Japanese language uses three words to convey the English equivalent of "love". Because "love" covers a wide range of emotions and behavioral phenomena, there are nuances distinguishing the three terms. Following the Meiji Restoration , the term became associated with "love" in order to translate Western literature. In contemporary literature, kama refers usually to sexual desire. The concept kama is found in some of the earliest known verses in Vedas. For example, Book 10 of Rig Veda describes the creation of the universe from nothing by the great heat.
There in hymn , it states:. The children of Adam are limbs of one body Having been created of one essence. When the calamity of time afflicts one limb The other limbs cannot remain at rest. If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others You are not worthy to be called by the name of "man". Sa'di , Gulistan. Rumi , Hafiz and Sa'di are icons of the passion and love that the Persian culture and language present.
Chesed , often translated as loving-kindness, is used to describe many forms of love between human beings.
The commandment to love other people is given in the Torah , which states, "Love your neighbor like yourself" Leviticus The Torah's commandment to love God "with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might" Deuteronomy is taken by the Mishnah a central text of the Jewish oral law to refer to good deeds, willingness to sacrifice one's life rather than commit certain serious transgressions, willingness to sacrifice all of one's possessions, and being grateful to the Lord despite adversity tractate Berachoth Rabbinic literature differs as to how this love can be developed, e.
As for love between marital partners, this is deemed an essential ingredient to life: "See life with the wife you love" Ecclesiastes Rabbi David Wolpe writes that " It is when one person believes in another person and shows it. What we really feel is reflected in what we do. The 20th-century Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler is frequently quoted as defining love from the Jewish point of view as "giving without expecting to take" from his Michtav me-Eliyahu , Vol. The Christian understanding is that love comes from God. The love of man and woman— eros in Greek—and the unselfish love of others agape , are often contrasted as "descending" and "ascending" love, respectively, but are ultimately the same thing.
Christians believe that to Love God with all your heart, mind, and strength and Love your neighbor as yourself are the two most important things in life the greatest commandment of the Jewish Torah , according to Jesus ; cf.
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- Leading a Stubborn Horse (Round Penning Book 8).
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Gospel of Mark chapter 12, verses 28— Saint Augustine summarized this when he wrote "Love God, and do as thou wilt. The Apostle Paul glorified love as the most important virtue of all. Describing love in the famous poetic interpretation in 1 Corinthians , he wrote, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. The Apostle John wrote, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. Saint Augustine says that one must be able to decipher the difference between love and lust. Lust, according to Saint Augustine, is an overindulgence, but to love and be loved is what he has sought for his entire life. Saint Augustine says the only one who can love you truly and fully is God, because love with a human only allows for flaws such as "jealousy, suspicion, fear, anger, and contention.
Influential Christian theologian C. Lewis wrote a book called The Four Loves. Benedict XVI named his first encyclical God is love. He said that a human being, created in the image of God, who is love, is able to practice love; to give himself to God and others agape and by receiving and experiencing God's love in contemplation eros. This life of love, according to him, is the life of the saints such as Teresa of Calcutta and the Blessed Virgin Mary and is the direction Christians take when they believe that God loves them.
No greater sacrifice | Sampson Independent
Search the site Get in touch. Sign up Email preferences. Registered charity Search the site Get in touch Sign up to newsletter Email preferences. Perhaps you are giving too much to someone who doesn't deserve it, or maybe you two just need to discuss it and see if you can't work out a better arrangement. Definitely continuing to sacrifice and feeling used for it, is an unhealthy situation. A healthy sacrifice to me, would be one where you just want to do it because you want them to be happy, or maybe even you feel like it is fair because they do so much for you, you want both of you to feel even.
As long as the amount and ways that you are sacrificing make you happy, it seems like it should be a good thing. Amie M. Gordon, Ph. Sexual frequency matters in relationships, but not in the way you might think. Research on sexual frequency reveals interesting findings. New research shows sex with your spouse may boost your mood at work.
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Creativity in Bipolar Disorder: Fabulous or Fatal? When is it worth it? Submitted by GoodAtTruth on June 17, - am. The real bitch is finding someone who thinks and is biologically the same way. Being inauthentic.. Submitted by Simon Says on June 17, - am. I've thought about this often Submitted by stilllearning2b on June 17, - am. I believe a healthy way to Submitted by Lara on June 18, - pm. Post Comment Your name. E-mail The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.