Guide Liebe und andere Schmerzen: 16 Herzschläge (German Edition)

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Where the Oneness of consciousness is missing, as in the criminal, there aloneness is missing "The I senses itself", Rappaport , the awareness of time is missing because the separated debris of the I, unreal, nothingness, are positioned as real, becomes realised. The holy that is the reversed criminal, Christ, Augustine, Kant suffers worst in the time problem. The Greeks know no holy men, so they know no time problem.

Then is Nature-perception possible. And it is beautiful. He is free! To the other — unconscious — it is hateful, a threat to freedom, ruled by fear. The old maid is the nothingness developed out of the woman, created by the man who, from ethical reasons, never again meets with her.

Thus no child develops.

She perishes utterly. Theft is creation of the real out of the not-real or serialisation of things in the I that do not belong to the I. The lie says its definition is the best, which is immoral: To posit the Unreal as real, or: serialisation in the I, where it ought not follow. The moon Luna is the externalised dream. The sleep-walker is the platonic idea of the dreamer. Who loves dogs, not cats, who has nothing doglike, i. The criminal liar dies from the inner, the occasional liar from the outer spatial snake-bite.

But the criminal has the hallucination of the snake-bite and dies from false shock. The moral is always supreme to the intellectual; the enchanter can discern everything, but not the good God, the idea. The weak and weaklings in regard to morality physicalise the weak degree of strength and courage: Jew and strength, woman and strength. One considers now, giving light to hopes of finding a simple rule of Nature by which sex is regulated. Surely this also stands under an ethical principle.

But there cannot be a biological principle of Nature for a process, that deals with either the incarnation of a soul or the development of an evasive, delusion- and lying-form, as woman is. It can, at least, be influenced by other natures experimentally. This takes effect again for men. Here is a wholly impossible infringement. Just as unthinkable is a mechanical principle for the evaluation of the manly birth.

And whoever now still doesn't know what is unjewish and what is jewish, sinks himself into life like the awakening Adam of Michelangelo in approximately the fourth painting in the the middle row of the altar wall in the Cistine chapel , in whom everything is still as a possibility, but also all possibilities effectively exist — with exception of one: Judaism!

The Jew is from the beginning; and yet he cannot also comprehend the end. He is between beginning and end. But beginning and end mean "feat". The Jew understands business, not feat. The Jew is too urgently against Christ. Christ is not for nothing bestride a donkey. Donkey cult with Jews. The Jew is the punishment of the donkey: he is absolutely not asinine. That the Jews instantiate themselves in Germany hangs together with "Michel". The idiot smiles over intelligence; the Jew smiles over the good.

He places himself thereby near goodness. He also shows how smiling can still be immoral. The man who miscarries his suicide? He is the complete criminal, because he wants life so as to rage against it. Everything evil is rage! Vanity means: to want to calculate the merit of the I by what doesn't belong to the merit of the I. Thus also individuality. Such a one considers to his own merit, the merit that is God's.

The criminal can need no witnesses. For, he hopes to conquer by criminal means and is in an inferior position. That's why he must kill all witnesses. The holy man smiles, without knowing why. He laughs unfree. The holy man is the unhappiest, notwithstanding he only seeks happiness. The devil is the man, who has it all without goodness , who knows the whole heaven without truthfulness, while all things exist only through goodness.

Every man creates his woman, perhaps two women for himself: one prostitute, one mother. Whether he makes her into a mother or not? This depends on his relationship to the ethical alone. There's no greater plaintive nonsense and impression : One unfailingly seeks something behind woman because one expects this rather than finding there's simply nothing there. And so one comes to the idea of identifying her with the sphinx, with which she actually has no similarity whatsoever.

Christ redeemed Magdalene — she was a prostitute, as long as he was in the wasteland. How can I accuse woman after all, for serving man? Man wants nothing other than she does. There is no man who would not be delighted if he exacted a sexual influence over a woman. From things Man understands his own character. Each understanding is redemption , System and explanation is propitiation. Bist Du noch immer nicht in die Verfassung gekommen, zu lesen? Io ho denari, vorrei restituirtene.

Mir geht es gar nicht gut, inwendig. August fortgehen , wie es in P. Juli Lieber Freund! Komme eben aus der Schack-Galerie. Und Du? Man hat auch so noch genug Schicksal, wenn man wer ist. Heil Dir! August , laut Poststempel Lieber, herzlich geliebter Freund! Ich dachte gerade an Dich und hatte eine Karte bei mir und nichts anderes. Der hat sein Doktorat gemacht usw.

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Ich denke oft an Dich, aber Deine jetzige Lage macht mir dieses Denken ziemlich schmerzhaft. Leb' wohl! Ich habe noch etwas an Dir zu verrichten. Denn das wirst Du erst dann verstehen. Morgen fahr' ich nach Dresden. Hoffentlich hast Du's einmal um zehn Uhr vormittags probiert! Mario C.

Ich freue mich sehr darauf. Noch am ehesten wenigstens. Auch Sch. Sind die B. Eine lange Assoziationskette! Und die Leute davor! Es gibt weit hervorragendere Bilder hier. Einen hab' ich entdeckt, einen tiefen Kenner des Weibes: Palma Vecchio. Stenographiert August Von mir hast Du eine viel zu gute Meinung, das sehe ich immer wieder. Freilich ist auch dieses Bekenntnis, das ich Dir mache, von meiner verfluchten Eitelkeit wieder begleitet. Dir glaube ich es nicht ganz. Hoffentlich bist Du einverstanden mit dieser ersten Stenographie. Das Meer Hoffentlich hast Du sie zur Zeit bereits.

Die Post ist eine Einrichtung, der ich jetzt dankbar bin. Wie lange ich noch ausbleiben werde? Ich habe noch 55 Mark und 5 Gulden. Bleiben 23 Gulden. Hast Du wirklich geglaubt, es interessiere mich, mit wem Frau K Bin ich so ein Weib? Kennst Du das? In ihm hat die Natur die Schamlosigkeit verleiblichen wollen.

Bitte, schreib' aber wie bisher. Um Gotteswillen schick' Du mir nur nichts. Und wie bist Du's zufrieden gewesen? Meine Reise kommt mir so sinnwidrig vor. Nur geographisch ist's richtig. Aber nach dem Parsifal sollte man pilgern, lange, bis ans Ende der Erde, und dann irgendwie verschallen. Ich werde den J Allenfalls werde ich ihm das offen sagen. Aber bin ich sonst etwas? Ich zweifle sehr daran —. Halb 1 Uhr nachts, zwischen Sonntag und Montag.

Also geh' ich doch nach Christiania. Bitte dahin postlagernd. August, Donnerstag, 10 Uhr vorm. Ich habe also jetzt 14 Stunden Seefahrt hinter mir, darunter fast die ganze Nacht auf Deck zugebracht, bei ziemlichem Sturme und bis 4 Meter hohen Wellen; und bin seefest! Wie ich's von mir nicht anders erwartet hatte. Aus Deinen Briefen habe ich gar vieles noch nicht beantwortet. Man macht sich eine Mitteilung von weniger wichtigen Dingen um dem andern das Bild des Augenblicks fixieren zu helfen. Ich freue mich sehr: Montag werde ich hier im Nationaltheater den Peer Gynt sehen.

Ich werde Dich genau von Allem avisieren. Bitte, schreibe jedoch jedenfalls noch nach Christiania Dienstag, Mittag, Wenn Du willst, begleite mich dann von P. Du verstehst mich? Hamburg, Donnerstag morgens. Poststempel: 4. September Nun bin ich ernstlich auf der Heimreise, die solche Menschen wie Du oder ich wohl nie mit jener satten, eingewickelten Befriedigung antreten wie die Philister, die eben wirklich im Hause Nr. X zu Hause sind. Hier wirst Du auch den Schmerz finden und die Verzweiflung.

Auch Mignon und Carmen werden so abgewerkelt. Oktober Deine Auffassung des B. Aber gut ist, wie Du die psychische Anspruchslosigkeit gerade der Mindestwertigen charakterisierst. Wenn ja, so will ich zwei Sitze besorgen. April Also endlich hinter Dir! Das freut mich sehr, noch mehr, was jetzt kommen wird Rom, Roma, Panorama dalla Cupola di S. Le statue dei santi sul tetto. Ho dovuto passare a Roma, dove sto da ieri mezzogiorno. Es ist die fruchtbarste Gegend Europas. Hier kann ich nur geboren werden oder sterben — leben nicht.

Ein Krater erinnert an den Hintern des Mandrill. Bei Shakespeare hat die Welt keinen Mittelpunkt, bei Beethoven hat sie einen. Ich bitte Dich, schreibe mir recht bald! Mir liegt sehr viel daran Und schick' mir, bitte, endlich die Kopie des sizilianischen Turiddu-Liedes. Lies endlich den Peer Gynt , tue mir, wenn schon Dir selbst nicht, diesen Gefallen.

Adresse: Reggio, Calabrie, ferma in posta. Mi dispiace molto, ch'io non so la causa. Credo, che tu hai qualche cosa di un azzardista: tu vuoi troppo come dono regalato dal destino. Questo in italiano, perche altra gente potrebbe leggere la cartolina. Ich habe schon Montag Kalabrien verlassen und bin heute in Neapel angekommen. Paestum — Salerno — Amalfi — Sorrento. Are you still not yet in the frame of mind to read?


I would actually like to finish off my notes and thoughts on "Peer Gynt". For the present, writing is very difficult for me, and I would have liked to have a discussion over it with you, to enlighten my thoughts on its formation. If that is now impossible in the near future, then I bid you merely about the book. I have money, I would like to reimburse you some. I have today duly passed the major examination and they have, in great goodwill, even given me the unearned distinction It is not going so well for me, inwardly. I hope that at least things aren't too badly for you.

Please, write to me at Munich, care of the general post office will leave there the earliest 4. August , how it is in P. It's going a little better, at least I'm behaving as if it is. The soft, but irresistable influence of Munich beer is already making itself felt. Munich has still produced no great man: all get up, none persist. Just come from the Schack-Gallery. There hangs a copy of the most magnificent painting in the world, the Jeremiah of Michelangelo. I have until now not been conscious that there could be something like that, that so much can emanate from a painting.

And you? For you this applies: restrain your passion, sans phrase. One has yet enough destiny, if one is somebody. Hail to you! I was thinking directly of you and had only that card with me and nothing else. The thought is very painful, that your worthy mother or your sister had read the conclusion of that card and could have said: "Look you, Weininger is yet an intelligent man! He has received his doctorate, etc. I think often on you, but your current situation makes this thought pretty painful for me. And I can now really do nothing for you! While you, from your happy corner, bear the worry not only for my clothing, but also for my expenses.

Once would I bid you: don't insist too much of me in regards to conversation. For me it is a very poor time now, wretched as never before. Not only great unfruitfulness, not only the noisy limping of my ideas going on crutches, and this little enough; but also a lot else. Perhaps I will tell you about it one day. I lead a life which you know, but yet always two, three others, of which you do not know. I warn you about that; more I cannot tell you, but bid you not to explore further in any way. I hope that you have received pleasure from the beautiful card.

Indeed, I have in addition sent two others the same scene, but it was not the same act for me. The words that Wagner has written before his house, would have led your own thoughts back to yourself. Don't believe that I do not fully understand your suffering. Only because I understand it, can I say nothing about it and write nothing against it to you.

I know that for you at present, on both sides of the state examination lies nothing but endless, joyless mist. Otherwise you would still be able to learn You lack something for complete greatness, that is for sure; and had you that, then this alone would hinder you from thinking so much on your future.

Because that is the unhappiness with you. There are men for whom the inner and outer conditions must go just as poorly as for you and they still are not as unhappy. What you lack is simply the religious or philosophical or metaphysical. You have in you a fearful, glowing craving, a craving, the object of which you have no idea, and yet for which you keep insisting, insisting.

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You yearn for your home and do not guess that you carry it only in yourself. I nevertheless have something for you to do. You haven't totally missed that other thing, that I know from that night here, about which we have never again spoken. I would be happy if after my return, I could contribute to this other, this being the only source of possible spiritual gratification for a man, to assist in producing its flow.

About Bayreuth and Parsifal I will write nothing to you. Because you are not going to understand that until then. Tomorrow I go to Dresden. Thus the fate of the sausage, that I have repeatedly sought after in Bayreuth with devoted interest, has been fulfilled. It is ruefully returned to its origin. Was it still edible? Hopefully you have tested it once at ten o'clock in the morning!

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He made the impression on me of a very serious and not very happy man. I have entertained myself less with him, as with his friend while in his presence, a philosophising mathematics professor from south Italy that spoke to me in the international painting exhibition, directly as I was looking my fill with great fever at Klimt's "Philosophy" and had stepped over onto the low platform. Please, write to me anything unusual to be seen in Saxon Switzerland. I do know how beautiful a man is in his eventide, who, like you, lives in his past, gilding each and every memory, even the most aggravating; it is indeed so for me; but one should keep guard over himself allowing the eternal unfulfillable wish of reliving vicariously through others to run rampant: else those people come back and want to spoil everything in one's life, is it not true?

I intend to leave Dresden Wednesday in the morning. There I will probably spend more time.

Italien, 11.05. - 02.06.12222

I am looking forward to this greatly. On the way back I will stay longer in Berlin and visit Saxon Switzerland, as you earnestly advise me to. For the rest — one need place no demand on Nature, she still fulfils everything.

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I ask you only, whether I will receive the impressions there that P. Saxon enthusiasm trivialises everything for me. I take from the rhythm of your last letter with pleasure, that it begins to go better for you. You already spit on the state examination, on Zurich?! Today things are somewhat better for me — I have now the conviction that I was actually born to be a musician. Still, at the earliest it will be little.

Today I discovered a specific musical power of imagination in myself, that I had never dared suspect and which has filled me with a strong respect. One thing: write and tell no one anything about what is going through your head now and warn yourself. Not Sch. Are the B. Excuse me! A long chain of associations! And what does one hear about Mrs K. But not meaningful ; not magnificent; not something to make you tremble.

And the people looking at her! I heartily amused myself over it. There are ample exceptional paintings here. I don't know whether you have seen his paintings. But it interests me what you think about the Madonna of Raphael. Compare "schiavo" Italian: "slave" , now "Ciao". Stenographised As you yourself have brought the discussion to the theme that I avoided mentioning on account of your mood, I will thus only remark that I have contradicted you mainly in one point, in which I seem to have the right That she is lustful, lying, coquettish, that she immediately steps into action as soon as one seems to notice her less, that she allows those who have naive hope for her and who blatantly adore her, to rot — that she does indeed have the prostitute totally dominant in her, is nothing new to me as you seem to believe, and it has also bothered me less than my recognition, shortly before my departure, that she doesn't suffer over all these traits and doesn't control herself, and never suppresses herself.

You have much too good an opinion of me, I see it always more clearly. This knowledge, which I give you, of my cursed vanity is again freely accompanied by it. Unfortunately, I also know very precisely the feeling of not being able to love again. Of you, I don't wholly believe it. Hopefully you are in agreement with this first stenography. It delights me greatly that I have fulfilled your wish.

Already today at midday, instead of waiting in Stralsund for the departure of my train, I let myself be taken over to a place on the island, a postcard of which I sent you — the best there to be had. Hopefully you received it some time ago. The post is an arrangement I am now thankful for. It brings me your letters; and I also strongly require a telephone to you. How long will I still remain away? I have yet 55 Marks and 5 Gulden. The trip home will cost me 15 Gulden at most. In the house with 33 ugly unmarried Jewish girls! Your sympathy towards my insignificant worries had very sincerely warmed me.

For the weather stays poorly, inside and outside. Since leaving I have had, up to the day after tomorrow makes four weeks, of not one good day. Had you really believed it would interest me with whom Mrs K Am I such a woman? I wish you would only bring discourses, because I honour the lines of your letters. Question: Had Napoleon known himself and how deeply? But here it's not tourists to revolt one: the usual tourist with the important manner and the thick ticket-book is at least laughable; here there are bath guests. Do you know them? Today I believed, as I heard the horrible spa-orchestra play on the edge of the ocean which did not immediately swallow them up, that I had been displaced onto the Ischler Esplanade.

Only a few Jews, but on that account Berliners, Frankfurters, Saxons. The men — skat-players, the women either motherly hyenas or daughterly self-proclaimed kittens; that half ugly. The other with those backwards-pulled transverse-strapped skirts Are you also not ashamed of yourself when you see this part of women? In them Nature wanted to embody shamelessness. I live, God be thanked, not in the midst of the elegant quarter, but in the Crampas district in the house of a "steward". Please write but as before. My father sent me Marks in Bayreuth, that I returned to him. It is unpleasant enough after my return, to have to ask for his occasional support.

In God's name, send me nothing yourself. Were you able to read my stenography? And how did it satisfy you? I can truly not stand it. It is a word-degrading invention, its whole nature commercial, "modern" to excess. My trip appears so absurd to me. Only geographically is it appropriate. But like Parsifal, one should make a pilgrimage, a long one, to the ends of the Earth, and then fade away somewhere. From where do you now get it, that my future also is bleak?

I believe, after all, that it will be so. I will no longer give words of advice to J—. One can destroy a man by and by, from recommending him as suitable, and I am too good for some little nook in publishing. If need be, I would say this to him openly. This trip has brought me the knowledge that even I am no philosopher.

Truly not! But am I still something else? I doubt that very much —. Half-past twelve at night, between Sunday and Monday. I sit in a hotel on the beach and see before me that one shimmering place of ocean under the full moon. My father has now sent back to me that hundred Marks again. Thus I am going to Christiania after all. Please send to the post office there. Excuse the card, for now it's all I can spare, since there is most probably much for me to achieve in Norway, and from here the postage is quite expensive.

Also, I have now a 14 hours sea-journey behind me, spending almost the entire night on deck, in a considerable storm and up to 4 metre high waves; and I am seaworthy! How could I have expected anything else of myself. I believe, the dignity of a man can be hurt by nothing as much as sea-sickness. It is sufficiently indicative that all women become seasick. I have not yet answered a great deal from your letters. Not because you do thus with mine, but because it's completely natural. We both seem to want to postpone discussion until my return the first week of September, around the middle.

One makes a message of a few important things to help the recipient fix the image of the moment. Early today 5 o'clock 48 minutes arrived here. Today, I will hear for the second time of my trip "Don Giovanni". The first time in Munich. If your overgreat need to rejoice, that you are projecting on my arrival, would only not create disappointment for us both! I will fulfil your wish: you will be the first, like last time. I will faithfully advise you of everything.

Also at home, in this case I'll be received joyfully, as I know from long experience, and the meals are paradoxically even better. I should like to travel about Bergen the west Norway coast, where the fjords and glaciers are by sea to Hamburg, by Magdeburg, and Prague to Vienna. However, please, write in all cases still to Christiania Eight days from tomorrow I should be in Hamburg and Sunday thereafter in P. If you wish, accompany me then from P. The Vienna performance was very poor and the public repulsive, the locals twittish, the spectators idiotic.

Ibsen must have suffered fearfully in his environment. Wishing to write, I had soon lost the desire. Do you understand me? Now I am earnestly on the homeward run, that such men as you or I never walk with that satisfied, wrapped-up contentment like the philistines, that are absolutely at home in house no. I have just come from the Institute for "experimental" psychology, the high school of the modern psychologist.

Yesterday I would have had to deal a lie or a personal sorrow against Dr. The film featured the then-twenty-five-year-old filmmaker himself, as well as a number of friends and loved ones, in a collection of scenes of young people exploring Austrian and German cities in search of themselves. At several points people talk or simply laugh in close communion with the camera, building up to images of Schreiner and a friend lying on the grass after driving from Vienna to Kassel.

Everything that the film sees is examined closely, such that otherwise quotidian sights—a small, sentient group of trees, or a supine pregnant stomach rising and falling—take on a natural splendor. Fata Morgana concludes a digital trilogy, begun after the longtime 16mm filmmaker took an eight-year hiatus from directing, in which Schreiner and another person or small group of people explore surroundings new to them.

Like them, he has moved over time from initial neorealism to eventual psychological realism, shifting deeper into focus on human bodies in search of guarded souls. Schreiner has done so in close collaboration with a consistent team of offscreen collaborators—including his wife Maria and two adult children—as well as a small number of regular actors, whose evolving presences from film to film create a narrative of people changing over time.

Throughout, one senses a patient offscreen observer keeping them and Awad close company. In the following monologue, created with Schreiner over e-mail, the filmmaker reflects on how Fata Morgana and other films present a lifelong journey taken in order to find oneself, undergone with fellow travelers. Peter Schreiner: What is cinema? A collective trip over and over again begun of euphoria, refused in everyday life, moving from passive exhibition of the bare being to an active breakthrough of self-representation in front of and behind the camera.

A movement over and over again begun of a flowing of these currents into each other and the impulse of transition between them. A projection from outside to inside to outside. The riddle of time. The riddle of impenetrable surfaces. The riddle of thereby released thoughts, feelings, and spiritual movements. And cinema seeks:. To share these riddles. To share life with many utopia: with all people — what a claim. To be understood what presumption. I have enjoyed to the full, rather, the opposite:.

Tension and letting loose. Learning and also forgetting things over the years. Cinema mediates and annuls time I believe that I know this. Such that the timeless things remain. But what remains already?

Eugen Onegin

Maybe only the present moment remains. As I have made films I have experienced, over and over, that projects grow by themselves out of life. Fata Morgana originated from chance. I never had the intention to travel through the desert, let alone to shoot a film there. I would not have been there at all were it not for the invitation of my Libyan friend Awad Elkish, a city-dweller in Tripoli, to introduce my family members and me to his desert, the place of his longing.

Maybe also at the beginning there stood the travel story of Giuliana Pachner, who had once, several years ago, been sent on the run from the narrow-mindedness of her village to the Italian island of Lampedusa, on whose shores many refugees had already run aground. Crises make films.

This is my age-old experience. All my films are marked by crises, born from crises, sometimes even released them. To me, it is clear: In order to film, one must dive into crisis, or better yet, to dive through it, and find a way to new shores. If I invent a beginning to my work, in which I produced my first proper film, Glaring Light, in , then it would mean that my beginning came at the same time as the ending of one of my most intense crises.

It was characterized mainly by passiveness and mental isolation throughout school years, by desperation, feelings of inferiority, lovesickness, and a darkness that enveloped everything. My cinematic experiences had narrowed from a short euphoric period at their outset into a desperate hide-and-seek behind the technical equipment.

I did not hide freely out of power cravings,. Glaring Light became a sort of emergency program for me. I had to make it. Above all, I had to make it in such a way so that it would become what it wanted to be, without deducing or considering how it would work on other people. For me cinema posed the only possibility through which I could express my oversized longing, and through which I could share all the lives that I saw and felt inside myself with others. Hermann, who played the main character in Glaring Light, had lived with me for some time, and we agreed to shoot a part of the film together, with him in front of the camera and me behind it.

Once we had finished preparing ourselves for the shoot, however, he told me that he absolutely had to travel at that instant to the German city of Kassel, about six hundred kilometers from Vienna, to visit the art fair documenta. My answer was that I would go with him. And so we did. I felt instinctively that the work could succeed only through a strong formal reduction and a clear line of action set within the most obvious locations, both physically and psychically. It did not seem at all necessary to go inside the buildings, and instead we stayed outdoors on the meadow.

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If I look for the differences between how I did it then and how I might do it now, I will see none. Abstraction, not naturalism, is the strength of my films. I had to escape from technical accessories at the outset. I had to leave my place behind the camera and literally enter the scene in order to be able to enter my first true work, the first to become a part of me and in which I felt fine.

I used black-and-white then, as I have for all my subsequent projects, which has helped me to reduce and find abstraction. I moved from celluloid to digital after taking an eight-year break from filmmaking, between and , at the encouragement of my friend Hubert Sauper, who urged me to try a new beginning.

Through digital I have found the possibility to work more economically, more independently, and with greater precision, such that there will be no step back to analog. After thirty years of creation, I am both the same and different. I am still able to inhabit my films, but I can do this now without having to step in front of the camera. My work lies in creating these spaces that can be entered by others. Creation is possible to the extent to which I have mentally freed myself.

The work on Fata Morgana unfolded over nearly three years, and even the difficulties that arose internally during its creation helped will it into being.