Check your mood with our mood self-assessment quiz. Page last reviewed: 31 October Next review due: 31 October Why am I so angry? Low mood and depression How to feel happier Beating the winter blues Tips for coping with depression Exercise for depression Mental health issues if you're gay, lesbian or bisexual Raising low self-esteem Going to work after mental health issues Student mental health.
Anxiety in children Dealing with panic attacks 10 ways to fight your fears. Breathing exercise for stress 10 stress busters Easy time-management tips Coping with exam stress Coping with money worries Dealing with jealousy Student stress Tips on surviving exams Bullying at work. How to control your anger Tips on child anger. Different types of therapy Benefits of talking therapy Mental health helplines Self-help therapies Can I get free therapy or counselling? Depression support groups. Learn about the 5 steps Mindfulness for mental wellbeing Connect for mental wellbeing Get active for mental wellbeing Give for mental wellbeing Learn for mental wellbeing.
Coping with bereavement Dealing with grief and loss Children and bereavement Bereavement and young people. Loneliness in older people How to help lonely older people. Coping with your teenager Teen aggression and arguments Worried about your teenager?
Talking to children about feelings Talking to your teenager. Unhelpful thinking Sleep problems Anxiety control Depression Low confidence. Listen to all the mental wellbeing audio guides. My feelings toward others have become incredibly more gentle and appropriate. Thank you for this article and thank you all for sharing. I also have anger and irritability with my depression and as a woman, it is not acceptable. I can relate to many of the ladies here. They just drive me insane. I have a tendency to really take it out on boyfriends. If all else fails, I will try meds but I have to be prayerful about that.
Thank you all for sharing. This is a great article and mirrors my situation. I have been depressed for years because of the state of my marriage as basically since we had kids over 9 years ago we have not had sex and it was sporadic before. This led to me being depressed and frequently angry with my wife as she was dismissive of this part of the relationship missing. To cut a long story short this peaked again at Christmas and led to me assaulting my wife and 3 other women my daughter from my first marriage and 2 of her friends when they tried to protect my wife.
I was arrested and charged and eventually my lawyers managed to get the charge down to one of common assault and so for the first time in 54 years I was in trouble with the law. Depression in men is awful as we tend to disguise it and probably the number of men who suffer from it is on a par with women however because of our machismo and the expectations of society we do not always seek appropriate treatment until something like what happened to me occurs.
Very nicely described, Adrian. Are you getting help for your depression and anger now? I have just finished weekly care under a Community Psychiatric team. Currently I am about to start a course of cognitive psychotherapy and I am also attending a self-help group for abusers called ADAPT which I am finding very useful as it would seem that I am literally not alone — it is male only at present but the majority of us seem to be bottlers and we are not serial abusers rather we have had one off explosions caused by repressing our feelings — as I said I have found it very helpful.
The course is 30 weeks long and I have attended for 6 weeks at present. The link to the originators is her as you may find it useful in the United States: hamptontrust. I really appreciate the perspectives given from Georgette and a few others. It is awful to feel angry, out of control, and have irritabiity all the time and then after outbursts the shame that comes on. I have no interest in subjegating myself to more useless antidepressants that do not help but rather mask these feelings. I understand the origin, and how it becomes ingrained in daily behaviour and coping mechanisms.
So like others I isolate myself so as not to do further damage.
- 7 Easy Ways To Stop Feeling Angry Right Now!
- Sunsets In Singapore: A Foreign Service Memoir.
- How To Make Divorce Fun.
- 7 Easy Ways To Stop Feeling Angry Right Now | HuffPost Life.
- Angry All The Time.
Sadly one cannot keep a job or relationship this way…. I have suffered from MDD and PTSD for years and I have learned that anger and irritability are important elements of the illness and , as such, need to be better understood by friends and relatives as well as the patient. Only then can the deep healing and support necessary to curtail the illness occur. One of the most painful aspects of the illness is my knowledge that I am not the same person I once was and the frustration of not being able to magically dissolve illness.
This article provides a much needed explanation of this dynamic. I can also relate to this article. I buckle down but I really want people to leave me alone so I can get my work done without chit chat or any other new tasks being added to the pile. When someone is overwhelmed and angry about their workload or ridiculous deadlines, they are NOT in the mindset to go find a new job. And I made most of our household income so without my paycheck we would lose everything. You work so hard, you deserve a break. You are so right, what is it we can do?!
I am in such a horrible place right now, I am such a miserable person all day, nothing makes me happy, I look at my children — they are angels and I am afraid I am the one that gives them all the bad signals instead of smiles and compassion……who am I suppose to see? So , I am 15 years of age and I am always depressed. I can never seem to stay happy. I believe my depression and anger comes from the tragedies I have encountered during my early child hood. All I do is go to school and come home and sit in my house all day and at 15 I know that that can not be healthy.
Does anyone have any advice? What should I do? How should I feel? I do not want to have to resort to medicine in order to maintain my emotional being.
I want to be able to control the way I feel, I want to be able to feel like a teenager, and act like one at that. I just want to be happy again…. You deserve to feel good and to be able to live life cheerfully. There is absolutely no shame in having therapy or meds if needed and your primary care physician can help you with this. Best wishes for a happy and fulfilling life ahead. There is treatment for the symptoms, like depression, that come from childhood trauma. EMDR is a great one, and psychotherapy in general should help you resolve this and feel like other teens.
Can you see a therapist? Darkness, I am so sad for your past and applaud your resiliency as demonstrated by your heartfelt post. The fact you care enough to help yourself by reaching out is something to credit yourself for. Remind yourself of that, even when you feel otherwise. While talk therapy can be mildly helpful, it is very limited in its efficacy or effectiveness.
I too am searching for the best modalities to help me with my issues, and I find that body based therapies are best. Bessel van der Kolk. Best thing you will ever read. Have you ever thought about taking a dance class, just for fun? Try hip hop! Or if not dance, maybe yoga?
- Mental Health.
- The Liar and Other Stories?
- Irritable Depression: When Sadness Feels Like Anger.
My husband is angry and irritable all the time. He diets, loses 20 lbs and then quits. He has blow ups, is always picking on me and my son and then acts like nothing happened the next day. He very seldom wants to socialize with friends, he use to golf, go fishing, hiking and camping with his friends and now he does nothing. He says he likes being alone. He has been on antidepressants and needs it to control is anger. I have told him he needs to talk to someone but he refuses. I think he is his worst enemy. I go through severe frustration and anger attacks. When I m under considerable amount of stress, I feel like bringing the hell down.
I begin to snap at my parents, get so mad at everything in my head which has a constant train of cursing and beating the crap and almost literally ripping apart everbody who happens to be a source of annoyance. Normally m a jolly person who is too friendly to be true but under stress I am a monster and I cant contain this monster in me for much longer. It snaps, tears, yells, kills, makes me feel guilty about everything from now or the past and even these feelings.
I can barely contain myself. Since my religion doesnt luckily allows alcohol or drugs, m glad I dont walk in their direction for relief. Also cant sleep at night and when I do, cant get up before 3pm. I cant help myself. I dont know why my head has to be so voilent. I only end up snapping at my family, with the rest I can contain myself.
But what if the monster ever come out. M so exhausted and tired of fighting it and got an imp exam next month. The ironic thing here had be that m a doc and still cant help myself. It sounds like there is something going on for you that is significantly impacting your quality of life. I would spend a total of 5 seconds looking for it, but it would feel like a year. Almost Everything in my life was like that, until I went in and spoke to my Dr. She asked me a few questions, and said, I was depressed.
She suggested some meds.. Who knew? Anger and frustration at everything. Depression comes in many forms, and if you told me to go take anger management courses I would have hit you. So all you nay-sayers… be careful what you say. Thank You! Oh and it can hit at any age, my 15 yr old daughter was just diagnosed. I wish I had been at that age, would have given me so many more years of happiness.
Your story is like a reflection of how I feel every day. Thank you for this article. I feel hopeful that now I have finally put a finger on this monster inside. My guess my source is hereditary and PTSD immigrated as a child after a year in a refugee camp. I just came across this coz of my irritability. Still irritable!! Seems goin back to uni 2subjects by distance was too much.
It seems stress makes it worse. Dep is horrible.. My mum passed away in April and we live with my parents.. Still a shock. I have nightmares as well.. This has never been my personality. Its that emotional pain…at its worst its painful to be awake, at best its permanent sadness.. Was much better away uni, short trips w my daughter. Thanks :. Donna, it sounds like some good psychotherapy might help you. I hope you can find some!
Also, if you think your meds are wrong, find a good psychiatrist and get them evaluated. I was diagnosed 16 yrs ago with a range of things including depression and have been through some traumatic experiences since. Somebody please wave a wand and make me happy again.. Awww, Chrystal! How are you doing now?
I wish I could take your pain away but I have my own to contend with. I dont know whats happening. I have had incidents of fights, i constantly hate myself, i see everyone around me as an enemy, even my best friends and family, and i feel like life isnt worth living. Ive tried to kill myself but i dont have the gall to do so and i just go on with everyday with my remaining friends noticing i frown and scowl every minute of the passing day.
My grades dropped and i get more angry woth each failure no matter how long i study. I verbally argue and scorn my parents and i am very unsociable and i seem to hate people who are the opposite of me.
A Powerful Two-Step Process to Get Rid of Unwanted Anger | Psychology Today
My self esteem is so low that i dont believe in anything anymore except God. What can i do to help myself? Im too consumed by my hate and depression to do anything. Try to focus on you belief in God. It belief that pulls us through the bad time and belief tha creates the good times. Belief in God or hope or that tomorrow will be a better day with new opportunities. Belief is what will help you through this.
A special boyfriend from over forty years ago! This is a joy to me. But my man is separated, feels extremely guilty, even after several years, for causing the breakup…and suffers from depression. We are like two old passionate peas in a pod when we are together, but I see that he struggles with closeness. And irritability is just under the surface. But it is a delicate dance. Ask for closeness and he pulls away. Be distant and he craves togetherness! I want to have a relationship, but I also want to help. What can I do? My fellow is taking an antidepressant. I really want to do my best for him.
There are so many negative experiences I need to get out in the open. I hope that she will not ever think to give up on me. How will I ever be able to let it go and heal. Hi I also suffer from depression following a nervous break down.
Welcome to BetterHelp!
We can tell people what happened — break up — boss bullying you at work — bullying at school — there are more but those were issues for me but not voicing your voice and telling people how you feel keeps it all in. But my family arent big talkers and i have leant to keep things in. I used to read alot read, read like Matilda, cos books were an escapisum and i loved to read. At one pony i had a counciler and she was helping me in a way listening to me rant and sympathizing but that was it and when i was told my parents were going to take her away from me i began to self harm.
No body wanted me no body every one had their own lives — lonliness is a killer. Esp when its a mother or father it messes with your head. Its enough to send anyone over the edge. But we all express anger first — some can hold it longer than others — either in an aggressive stance or in a long sullen look — whatever but the hurt is there — the pain is behind stuff. Another thing i will say — some people may differ but if you have such a problem with your boss or a colleague its easy to tell you loved ones what a twat they were or that rosie an jess at school or down the the park hit you or whatever but the second you tell you mum or you sister or someone in your family theyhurt you they dont want to know because it makes them feel guilty but because they are giving you a ttitude you just think she or hes awful or this person i slike a stone queen.
Not everyone is going to sit with you and talk they might tell you — pull yourself together — stop crying — your expressing your pain — its very very tricky but it is choosing the right people at the right time to confide in and show emotion. The thing is i like to build connections with people it helps you get close to them and them to you. At first I read so many articles about depression. Your just a angry person. Also your guys stories and experiences with this. I get very angry at my family alot. Sometimes I feel so tired and done. Ive realized that specific things trigger these emotions.
Like when I feel like something is unfair.
Add your thoughts
At first it was only couple times a months. Then it turned into couple days. Most times I feel angry at myself for being angry at everybody. And I keep losing friends because of my temper. My serious depressive episodes have always been preceded by irritability, frustration and anger. So I hope to stop an episode, by stopping talking to someone when I feel those feelings increasing. So far it works, but not always. All I can say is talk about it with your therapist, google it, or hit the library.
When someone is always angry
Some people are just more accepting of anger than they are of depression. But I understand. Well I started to experience this in college and again today 2 years after the previous one ended. This time its from being in a bad cart situation, me and my team outpaced even with 2 electrical cart machines going and inside all registers open with long lines so they could not give us helping hands on the lot. I can not handle that kind of pressure even though all that is required is our best a lot of times that feels like it is not good enough for me. Any suggestions to help me because focusing on the positives just puts a blanket over the negative to me?
To those people saying it is an excuse to be angry. You have no idea at the level of self loathing and hatred that people with depression can experience. Being positive is not easier when you are depressed. It is as if you are outside yourself. No amount of self control will help. The anger does not subside if you stop yourself blowing up, it just builds and builds. The other option is self harm to release the feelings. No amount of exercise of meditation will cure the feelings that people who are depressed feel.
It is a chemical imbalance in the brain so telling people to focus on the positive does not help. I think my kindness is weakness, people just take the piss out of my generosity. I do have balls to say what I think, but it always comes across as aggressive,angry and nasty. Not sure if something has happened to me in the past why I am like this.
A good question to ask yourself is, would they do for you, what you have done for them????? For me the anger becomes a byproduct of the depression. Sometimes I can tell when my lapses are coming on. I feel short tempered and hostile. Most are understanding, while others think you are being mean. Self-control is pretty much short-circuited with me. So you want more, you do more. Unfortunately my MDD is with me for life. I am now disabled but so wish I could work. To those out there, keep trying even when you feel you want to die. I feel uncontrollable bouts of anger and sadness non stop.
As in alcohol, weed, pills.. I was on a combination of anti depressants and they caused me to have a seizure at work 3weeks ago. Besides talking about it. What ever it seems to be. How does one deal.. I have been diagnosed with bipolar depression. I have tried a number of antidepressants and nothing really seems to make me feel all that much better so I have not been taking anything for about 10 months. I have been to counseling, I have never been to a psychiatrist, I guess no one thinks I need to see one bad enough.
Lately, I have been feeling very out of tune with life. I have a wonderful partner, a job, food and a roof over my head. I dwell on things. I cry uncontrollably. I am easily frustrated. I cannot keep interest in anything I do. I get very angry. Worked up very easily over the smallest things. I have been thinking its time to go back on an antidepressant and was wondering if maybe someone could suggest something that may have helped them.
I have tried; Lexapro, elevil, zoloft, viibrid, brintellix, latuda, paxil and I think one other, but cannot think of the name of it. To Kip, Dec. I am close to someone who was under-diagnosed for two years and not treated for a problem that was exacerbating the the depression. Like you, she tried many medications that did not seem to work or only helped briefly. In any case — hope you have felt better since your last post. I have previously been in a couple of abusive relationships at a young age. I am 25 now and I am currently with someone who has the patience of a saint but I am constantly battling with feelings of uncontrollable anger and guilt.
I am so aggresive when i start and its usually over something so insignificant and pointless. I just go mental and scream and shout and even lash out occasionally and then I hate myself for it and find myself saying sorry repeatedly and hating myself for the way I am. When the feeling starts it manifests itself not only as emotional feeling but I get physical pain in my stomach and cannot control how furious I become. I also suffer with intense anxiety and bite my fingernails down so far it bleeds.
Since reading this I do think I need to see a doctor but the thought of doing that and opening up creates masses of fear and anxiety inside me. Everything seems like a catch 22 but I do have a serious desire to improve and get better especially before I have children. This is often the case when you are used to blaming other people for your own mistakes instead of taking responsibility.
Some people get angry very quickly at anyone around them so as to solve a problem that they are experiencing even if it was their own fault. Is your anger caused by this? If so you need to learn how to be more responsible. In this way, you can stop being angry at others when things don't go right. Break the bad habit of irresponsibility and of constant anger too. The root of frustration is dissatisfaction. The lack of what you want annoys you and eliminates your peace.
To eliminate frustration, you can begin by appreciating the things that you have. These are the things that you have already accomplished. Examples of such things are a home, clean, abundant water to drink, food, Internet-access, family and friends. Spend a few minutes observing these things and your frustration will end. It will be replaced by gratitude. Anger is a response that you pick so as to deal with powerlessness.
Whenever someone or something has power over us, we attempt to gain back control over the situation. If you have no way of doing this, you can feel angry and incapable. This feeling can be pent up inside and make you release your anger on someone that did not deserve such a harsh reaction from you for a small mistake.
As such, an effective way to get rid of anger is to eliminate powerlessness. You can do this by finding ways to generate personal power. In this way, you solve the root of the anger problem permanently. We feel frustrated when we cannot do what we wanted to in the future thanks to a present problem. This focus on future accomplishment causes us to feel disappointed.
One way to overcome it is to focus on what we can actually do right now. What action can you currently take to get you to that place that you desired in your future? What can you do right now to improve your situation? Is there another path to your target? Maybe all that you need to do is slow down, take time for yourself and relax.