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How to stop screwing yourself over - Mel Robbins - TEDxSF

Table 7. Power Distance as a characteristic of culture defines the extent to which the less powerful persons in a society accept inequality in power and consider at as normal. Uncertainty Avoidance as a characteristic of culture defines the extent to which people within a culture are made nervous by situations they perceive as unstructured, unclear, or unpredictable. Masculinityas a characteristic of culture opposes feminity.


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Language, Thought and Culture Cognitive development and linguistic development go hand in hand, interacting with and shaping the other. Words shape our lives. In a classic study, Carmichael, Hogan and Walter found that when subjects were briefly exposed to figures and later asked to reproduce them, the reproductions were influenced by the labels assigned to the figures.

Words a not only linguistic category affecting thought. The way a sentence is structured will affect nuances of meaning. Elizabeth Loftus discovered the subtle differences in the structure of questions can affect the answer a person gives. Example: After viewing a film of an automobile accident, subjects were asked questions like: - Did you see the broken light? For instance, his emphasis on perseverance in his book emerges from the thousands of hours spent on the field at Louisiana State University , where he had a full-student athlete scholarship.

This book connects inspiring ideas about overcoming obstacles in the business world to our everyday personal lives. Currently, Marvin works to motivate people to achieve their professional goals. Marvin has created training programs and given numerous presentations on how to make the best future out of difficult situations.

Sign in Get started. Issues That Matter. Meanwhile, the participants who saw images of joy and contentment, wrote down a significantly higher number of actions that they would take, even when compared to the neutral group. In other words, when you are experiencing positive emotions like joy, contentment, and love, you will see more possibilities in your life.

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These findings were among the first that suggested positive emotions broaden your sense of possibility and open your mind up to more options. But that was just the beginning. The really interesting impact of positive thinking happens later The benefits of positive emotions don't stop after a few minutes of good feelings subside. In fact, the biggest benefit that positive emotions provide is an enhanced ability to build skills and develop resources for use later in life.

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A child who runs around outside, swinging on branches and playing with friends, develops the ability to move athletically physical skills , the ability to play with others and communicate with a team social skills , and the ability to explore and examine the world around them creative skills. In this way, the positive emotions of play and joy prompt the child to build skills that are useful and valuable in everyday life.

These skills last much longer than the emotions that initiated them. Years later, that foundation of athletic movement might develop into a scholarship as a college athlete or the communication skills may blossom into a job offer as a business manager. The happiness that promoted the exploration and creation of new skills has long since ended, but the skills themselves live on.

Fredrickson refers to this as the "broaden and build" theory because positive emotions broaden your sense of possibilities and open your mind, which in turn allows you to build new skills and resources that can provide value in other areas of your life. As we discussed earlier, negative emotions do the opposite.

Because building skills for future use is irrelevant when there is immediate threat or danger like the tiger on the path. All of this research begs the most important question of all: If positive thinking is so useful for developing valuable skills and appreciating the big picture of life, how do you actually get yourself to be positive?

Psychology + Self Improvement In the 21st Century

What you can do to increase positive emotions and take advantage of the "broaden and build" theory in your life? Well, anything that sparks feelings of joy, contentment, and love will do the trick. You probably know what things work well for you. Maybe it's playing the guitar. Maybe it's spending time with a certain person.

Maybe it's carving tiny wooden lawn gnomes. Meditation -- Recent research by Fredrickson and her colleagues has revealed that people who meditate daily display more positive emotions that those who do not. As expected, people who meditated also built valuable long-term skills. For example, three months after the experiment was over, the people who meditated daily continued to display increased mindfulness, purpose in life, social support, and decreased illness symptoms.

Note: If you're looking for an easy way to start meditation, here is a minute guided meditation that was recently sent to me.


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Just close your eyes, breathe, and follow along. Writing -- This study, published in the Journal of Research in Personality , examined a group of 90 undergraduate students who were split into two groups. The first group wrote about an intensely positive experience each day for three consecutive days.

Split Second Choice: The Power of Attitude

The second group wrote about a control topic. Three months later, the students who wrote about positive experiences had better mood levels, fewer visits to the health center, and experienced fewer illnesses. This blew me away.

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Better health after just three days of writing about positive things! Note: I used to be very erratic in my writing, but now I publish a new blog every Monday and Thursday. I've written more about my writing process and how you can stick to your goals in this blog and this blog.

Play -- Schedule time to play into your life.


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We schedule meetings, conference calls, weekly events, and other responsibilities into our daily calendars When was the last time you blocked out an hour on your calendar just to explore and experiment?